In Judaism there is a three part formula for righteousness: doing justice, praying, and repenting. That latter piece trips up a lot of people especially in a society where we try to stay away from criticism, focusing on positive reinforcement, affirming words, and no judgment. But I think we get confused here between the idea of repentance as an act of being shamed in admitting you did something wrong rather than an intentional reaching out to God for help.
The Hebrew word for repentance is t’shuvah and it really means something more like “to turn back to” or “to return.” It’s less about prostrating oneself for punishment and more about acknowledging that trying to go somewhere on our own usually lands us moving in the wrong direction. We need to constantly be returning to God for guidance, for direction, to show us the way we are meant to go.
This season of lent that we are entering is a season of repentance in many ways; forty days of being very intentional about turning (back) to God, taking the time to reflect on where we have been, and asking for the help we need in moving in a new direction.
For a long time in my life I resisted making the turn back to God, largely because I didn’t want to have to say sorry to other people, I didn’t want to admit that I was wrong because there was so often shame or embarrassment in doing so. But about fifteen years ago I found myself brought to my knees with no where to go but to God, asking for help, asking for compassion, asking for guidance on the way I should go.
That is the miracle of this season, a time set apart that comes every year and gives us a chance again and again to return to the love that wants to guide us, and that promises to always help if we only are humble enough to ask. That is why I have ashes on my forehead to start the season, to remind myself that I am of the earth and that I will be intentional in returning to God, or at least I’ll try again and again.
Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart; return to the Lord your God, for God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love… – Joel 2:12/13
Maggie Harmon