We are back from retreat! 29 youth and 5 adults crammed into the lodge at Zephyr Point Presbyterian Conference Center, and together we tackled racism and sexism. We used a verse from 1 John, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us; but if we confess our sins, God, who is faithful and just, will forgive us.” This verse was recited weekly in my Presbyterian church growing up. Although the words sin and confession are loaded terms, they work well if you apply them to racism and sexism, which we all could agree are sinful. We know that “if we say we have no racism” or “if we say we have no sexism” we deceive ourselves – they are so thoroughly imbedded in society that nobody can be pure and free of them, even on a subconscious level. We spent the weekend hunting for those little bits of discrimination lodged in our minds and hearts, and trying to bring them out into the light.
What touched me most was hearing from the girls. A lot of them attend schools where dress codes are strictly supervised for girls, and usually a non-issue for boys. One girl told of how she had worn a dress with straps that were too skinny, and she got sent home (a 15-minute errand) to get a cardigan to cover her shoulders. The message she heard from the teachers was that 15 minutes of her learning was less important than making sure the boys could concentrate without being distracted for even a moment by bare shoulders. This story quickly and enthusiastically devolved into satire… the boys acting like they couldn’t possibly listen to us if there was a bare shoulder anywhere in the room. It was pretty funny. But what touched me the most was that even while they fought for the freedom to wear what they wanted, the young women of this group were able to stop and confess that they also have sexist thoughts about what other people wear. Without even realizing it, they judge girls as being “fake” or “easy” or “attention-seeking.” So on the last morning we confessed our sins – specifically our internalized racism and sexism. We wrote our confessions on papers anonymously, and then we read them loud (to acknowledge them) and burnt them in a small fire (to forgive them and let go of them). My prayer is that this act of confession will enable us to move forward with a cleaner slate, being honest and open, and willing to be humble when we are wrong.
In other news… this weekend you received the news that I am the candidate for the new position of Associate Pastor! I look forward to preaching on May 3rd and to the conversation that will follow at the congregational meeting, and of course, if the way be clear, moving forward. The next steps in the process would be examination at SF Presbytery, ordination in New York City, and installation at MPC.
Some of you have asked about my job duties and how they will change after I am ordained to the new Associate Pastor position. The short answer is – I will order new business cards, and preach a little more often, but otherwise most of the changes will be so small that they might escape your notice. I will lift up a few of the changes in my Contact articles in the coming weeks, so they don’t pass by totally unrecognized. And I want to give huge thanks to the APNC members for their efforts: Marge Nicholson, Francie Chan, Frank Dauby, Steve McKiernan, Anna Santos, and Claire Kelly. You really did due diligence in discerning, searching, interviewing, and finalizing the plans. And your interview questions inspired and challenged me in wonderful ways. Thank you!
Every Blessing,
Talitha