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There Is A Wrong Way

As I was driving home today I was listening to NPR.  The reporter said that hundreds of people are lined up on the steps of the Supreme Court, hoping to get seats for the opening arguments tomorrow in the Proposition 8 case regarding marriage.  Sunday night it snowed in Washington, D.C. and Monday night it was supposed to rain – freezing rain – and still the line goes down the steps and around the block.  The reporter interviewed some of those waiting in line to get seats to find out why they were there.  One of the young men interviewed told the story of how he had constructed tarps around him last night to protect him against the elements and that this morning he was awakened by the weight of the snow that had fallen on his face!  When asked why he was there and willing to brave the cold just for a seat, he said he is a conservative Christian and he was there to “witness” to those who believe in same gender marriage.

Oh my.  On the one hand, it is easy to admire a young person who feels so strongly about his or her own faith that he would travel across the miles to speak to that belief.  On the other hand, it is easy to cringe when imagining how that “witness” will sound.  Most faith communities have done a poor job of helping young people (or anyone for that matter) learn how to tell others about their faith.  As quickly as the world is changing, people of faith still tend to witness old style which means to “talk at” other people in order to “convince” (ie convert) them.  In other words, to witness has traditionally meant to win someone over to your position.  In my conservative church days, I, too, learned to witness in that way.  Now that I am much older, I can look back and recognize how arrogant it is to be so sure that one is right that every other person should believe the same.  In this day and age, why is it that we cannot teach a new and more genuine way of talking about faith?

I can only imagine what the young man interviewed will do on the steps of the Supreme Court in the next couple of days.  He will approach people who are there because they believe same gender marriage is good and right.  He will talk at them about his own faith and how becoming a Christian has changed his life.  Part of how his life has changed is that he is now obedient to the Bible and to God.  From there he might segue into how important obedience is and that it literally affects how we spend eternity – either in hell if we disobey and in heaven if we obey.  At some point he might ask the person if they would like to accept Jesus so they, too, can go to heaven.  What this young man cannot anticipate is how many of the people in support of same gender marriage are faith based people and how many of them are sick and tired of seemingly self-righteous people telling them what they need to do in order to be righteous.

Imagine how different the experience might be for everyone if instead of assuming he had all of the answers, the young man approached the conversations with curiosity and a simple desire to learn and understand and be in conversation with people who are different.  What is it about faith that leads people to hard lines and to be convinced that there is only one right way and that person knows the way?  Why is it that those who have faith and want to share it feel so threatened by those who believe differently?  Throughout history there have been bloody battles for the purpose of defending faith.  Why does faith need to be defended?  Those of us who are living as people of faith in the 21st century have a responsibility to find new ways to share and talk about that faith, regardless of the specific faith.  The time for arrogant certainty is over and the time for dialogue and curiousity is at hand.