Yesterday in church I talked with our children about MLK Jr.’s idea of the Beloved Community and Jesus’ instruction that we love our enemies. One of the kids volunteered to be my “example” and I asked all of the other kids to imagine he was as different from them as someone could be and then to describe those things to me. They said things like, “He would be good at jokes because I am terrible at jokes; he would be good at sports because I am terrible at sports; he would like brussel sprouts because I hate brussel sprouts; he would be tall because I am not.” Wanting to push them to some harder things, I pointed out that he would have spiked hair with each spike a different color. We noticed that he would dress in very different clothes so they offered that he would wear all neon-colors and probably all leather and one of the kids added a plaid bow-tie. We decided he would be very large since most of the kids there yesterday are on the small side.
After we created this very different person, I role played what would most likely happen when our kids saw him on the street. All of the comments they might make to themselves or to a friend were voiced, including comments like, “What a weirdo or he looks like an alien or he looks scary or he looks like a total nerd or no wonder he doesn’t have many friends.” I then told them that the way we can begin to create a different world is to approach people with curiosity instead of being afraid of someone or thinking someone is really weird because they are not like us. Then I role played what I would say if I were to be curious rather than critical of the person that is so different. I said things like, “I have never seen hair like that! I wonder how he gets the spikes to stand up so high and I don’t shop in stores that have those clothes – I wonder where he buys his clothes and I wonder what his parents are like and if they are nice to him.” By changing our criticism of someone who is different and becoming curious about them instead, we can literally change how we treat that person and so many others.
Imagine how much sooner Civil Rights might have come into being if the good Christian folk could have become curious about those whose skin color was different. Imagine what might have happened in Nazi Germany if the good Christian folk could have become curious about those who were Jewish or gay or disabled. Imagine what could happen right now in the US of A if we could all become curious about immigrants. Instead of being curious we tend to have stories all made up in our heads about these who are “other.” We tend to make up stories that include us being “right” or “better” or “more intelligent” or “harder working” or “more deserving” or “better than” in a variety of ways. If we can let go of our need to be superior and instead cultivate our curiosity, there is no telling how much more effectively we will be able to build the Beloved Community – a place where all are given equal dignity, all are deemed equally worthy, all are given equal respect and all are loved. I hope you will join me this year in cultivating curiosity about all of those you meet throughout the year who are different from you. When Jesus said we are to love our enemies he was referring to those who are “other.” Loving enemies/the other sounds really difficult. Maybe it’s as simple as changing a habit!