In anticipation of Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday celebration this year, I re-read his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.” There is so much in that letter that is instructive for churches and pastors that each time I read it I find myself feeling challenged again. It seems each reading of it leads me somewhere else.
This year as I read it, I was struck by his comments toward the beginning of the letter that were directed to the clergy and were his explanation of why he was bothering to answer to their criticism of him. He went on to say that if he were to take time to answer to every letter or word of criticism, he would never be able to do the work to which he was called.
I have been thinking about that and feeling the deep wisdom in his words. We can sure get sidetracked in life when we try to answer to the criticism that comes our way. But how can we not? It is part of our survival instincts to defend ourselves. When we hear criticism, we want to go to our own defense. If you are a middle child or you struggle with codependence, you are particularly prone to wanting to answer to all of the criticism that comes your way!
We have a great deal to learn from his wisdom. In his explanation of why he bothered answering their criticism, he said that because he thought they were men of genuine goodwill and because he thought their criticisms were sincerely set forth, he wanted to respond to them. Imagine how much criticism had been written, spoken, shouted and directed his way. In the midst of all of it, he used those two criteria to discern that he would respond.
If someone criticizes you, which is bound to happen if you are trying to make a difference in our world, ask yourself those two questions: is this a person of genuine goodwill and is this criticism one that has been sincerely given? In asking those questions, you will be able to let go of those who do not have goodwill toward you and you can let go of the criticism that has not been sincerely given.
One of the hardest things to do in life is to hear and receive genuine and sincere criticism. If we will hear it and respond to it, we may find ourselves growing in exciting ways. I am going to try to be wise in my choice of responses this year. How about you?