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Peace and Families

Dear Friends,

Last Sunday in church we talked about being peacemakers. I was doing pretty well until Monday evening when I squabbled with someone in my family. It struck me again as I was stomping away that being truly committed to creating peace does not mean having no conflict with someone, but it does mean being respectful toward that person in the midst of the disagreement. Why is it that when it comes to family being respectful can be so difficult? Sometimes it’s hard to respect the other person and sometimes it’s hard to respect ourselves – by that I mean not giving up our own needs just because the other person is louder or needier or pushier or more forceful.

Recently I heard a sermon preached by Barbara Brown Taylor. She said, “Peace always involves a crisis of identity. You cannot have peace and stay exactly who you are or who you want to be.” I hadn’t thought of it in that way before and the image it brings up for me is that of a tug of war. Creating or achieving peace is often a tug of war between the parties. It never works well if one side is so much stronger than the other that it can pull the opposite side right into the mud. The process is one of give and take, down to the very elemental level of one on one relationships. When we find ourselves stuck on a position where we believe it has to be our way or no way, that should be an indication to us that we are not interested in peace or in peacemaking. It should also be an indication that we are not interested in the good of the whole as much as we are in our own position.

One of the gifts I have received from you in my time here so far is your openness. As I have been sharing ideas and thoughts and insights, so many of you have been open and curious and intrigued. I hope you are experiencing me in the same way. Our work together will continue to be so fruitful if we can keep listening to each other and stay open to each other’s thoughts and ideas.

It was my joy to spend some time with Doris Herrick last week. She misses all of you and appreciates all of the cards and calls and prayers. Doris has decided to undergo chemotherapy and her first treatment will be next week, just after she celebrates her 80th birthday on Sunday! Please continue to hold her and Don in your hearts.

I hope to see you Wednesday night for the Soup Supper and Christmas Carol Sing-Along. If you don’t drive at night but would like to attend, let us know.

Peace to you, Beth