Here are some frequently asked questions about Pastoral Care at MPC. You can use the following links to jump to a specific topic.
- What is pastoral care?
- Who provides pastoral care?
- What kinds of things can we talk about?
- How do I get pastoral care?
- What are the limits and boundaries?
- What isn’t pastoral care?
- Our deepest hope
What is pastoral care?
Pastoral care is a term churches use to refer to the care church members receive as participants in the life of a congregation. Often, pastoral care is provided by pastoral staff, but it is the work of the whole church. It is a holistic model of emotional, spiritual, and social support. In practice, it might look like a minister visiting you in the hospital; a volunteer meeting with you to support you as you grieve; receiving a card to celebrate a milestone or offer sympathy after a loss; setting up a Meal Train for you after surgery; an email exchange about a theological question that’s been causing you struggle; basically any point of connection that offers you support as you move through life.
Some pastoral care is “urgent” pastoral care–this might look like a pastor meeting you at the hospital, or you receiving a phone call on the day that you experience a significant loss. These are things where the situation is serious and the care needs are urgent. If you have an urgent pastoral care need when the MPC office is closed, please call the urgent after hours phone (510) 295-0604. If you have an urgent need during office hours, please call the office at (510) 339-1131.
Other pastoral care is “non-urgent” care–these are things that you may need support with but it could wait for a week or two to get something on the calendar. Sometimes the situations are quite serious, but they’re not as time-sensitive.
Who provides pastoral care?
Pastoral staff play a vital role in this work. In addition, pastoral care is offered to the congregation by the congregation. Members of the congregation provide care for each other in many ways and the work of pastoral staff is done in partnership with the congregation as a whole.
What kinds of things can we talk about?
Pretty much anything. When speaking to a member of the pastoral staff, you will be in the company of someone who loves to talk about complex and sometimes difficult topics: aging, death, fear, grief, family, gender and sexuality, spiritual crisis, Bible and theology questions, major illness, vocation and work, retirement, parenting, partnering, separating. Conversations with the pastoral staff are confidential per the Presbyterian Book of Order.
How do I get pastoral care?
The best way is to ask directly for what you need. Asking can happen in person, over the phone, by text, or by email. But no matter the method of communication, your care needs are most likely to be heard and met when you directly communicate them to the most relevant person. Sometimes communicating care needs turns into a “game of telephone” where info gets passed between multiple people until it reaches a staff person, sometimes by accident, and often too inaccurate and late. This is what we’re trying to prevent.
If you are experiencing an urgent pastoral care need outside of business hours, please call the off-hours number at (510) 295-0604.
What are the limits and boundaries?
Limits and boundaries look different for pastoral staff and for members of the community.
As mentioned above, pastoral staff are able to provide care during office hours, or other times as needed by appointment. For support during office hours, call the MPC Office first at (510) 339-1131. If you have an urgent care need outside of business hours, please call our urgent after hours phone at (510) 295-0604. While we cannot guarantee an immediate response to calls made to the urgent number, we will do our best to get back to you as soon as possible.
When pastoral care is given by the pastoral staff, they are acting in a professional capacity. As such, the conversation may feel one-sided and less reciprocal, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s by design. (So pastoral staff won’t be sharing about their personal lives with the same vulnerability that you’re bringing to the conversation.) Pastoral staff are trained to maintain a certain amount of detachment in their relationships with members of the church. This helps them maintain perspective and boundaries, which helps them serve in a safe way.
We recognize that many within our community have close friendships, and may be offering support that is mutually agreed upon. Members of the community should not be asked to provide care ordinarily provided by a professional, and providing pastoral care should not be an unnecessary burden on the community and its members. Any member of the congregation should feel empowered to say no when approached for care, especially when they do not have the capacity to provide that care. Seeking pastoral care from the community may not be reciprocated by friendship. Keep an open mind on this.
Pastoral care provided by staff ordinarily happens during their work hours. When pastoral care is provided by a member of the community, those seeking care should respect the time commitments and other constraints that might limit a community member’s ability to provide care.
When we respect our boundaries and limitations, we’re fostering a more sustainable and healthy culture of care in our community.
What isn’t pastoral care?
Pastoral care isn’t therapy or social work. Our pastoral staff are not trained as therapists or social workers, and it’s important that they don’t try to do things that are outside their scope of practice. Pastoral care is also not extended caregiving for a dependent child or adult ordinarily provided by a family member or a professional. If the need arises, they may refer you to or encourage you to find help from providers with the appropriate training.
While our church occasionally provides charity to individual members of our community, pastoral care is not the same thing as charity and typically does not involve providing financial or other material assistance.
Our deepest hope
We hope that people who need support will ask for it. We also imagine that if more people seek help, we will expand our pastoral care team. Do you feel called to serve in this capacity? Please contact office@mpcfamily.org. We expect to create a pastoral care team.