Dear church family,
It’s time for some big thanks! A few people have been working hard behind the scenes to produce an important document. It’s taken a lot of labor. Though many of you contributed, the central organizers were Jim Allardice and Cindy Gullikson, and at long last we have produced MPC’s Safe Church Policy. We’re proud to say that it was called “very impressive” by our insurance agency and “one of the best I have seen” by an expert at the Synod of the Pacific (synods are a level of our church governance). The document was approved by session this month and can be read and reviewed here: MPC Safe Church Policy
We will need to have some trainings and discussion gatherings, especially over the next year or so, to make sure that everyone in the church gets a good understanding of our policy and our promises to one another as we seek to live in a loving community. But Ben and I will also be picking out some parts of the policy to highlight in Contact and in Celebration, especially the parts that deal with how we all treat one another, and the elements of our changing culture that call us to be far more deliberate with one another than perhaps we’d been used to being before. This week I spoke, during the Time with Children, about how someone might handle it when they want to hug someone, but that person doesn’t want a hug. Here’s the good news: the kids get it. They really get it. The kids were totally unphased by my hypothetical situations about trying to hug a non-hugger. They know – truly and deeply know – that you don’t have to hug anyone you don’t want to hug, nor do you need to get upset if someone turns you down. They grew up, after all, in a world where there’s an autistic Muppet who won’t shake hands or give Big Bird a high-five (Julia: https://autism.sesamestreet.org/video/meet-julia/) and where Disney princesses get asked to kiss – which wasn’t true even in my generation (Frozen: https://youtu.be/fNqh-cWo7y4?t=34) No, the kids get it. One of you told me about your granddaughter learning at preschool that each person has a “bubble” of personal space around them, which everyone needs to respect. She took that lesson home one day and got exasperated from lecturing the family dog about staying out of her bubble. My cats don’t quite get the concept either, though we are trying to teach them.
We’re a step ahead of our pets, though, and we can use language – so let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how we’re doing with respecting people’s bubbles, not just the kids’ bubbles, but one anothers’ as well. I’ll admit I’m a very huggy person and often have my arms open wide at the back of the church, and that it’s personal growth for me to remember that someone might not even feel comfortable shaking hands or high-fiving, like Julia the Muppet. Let’s talk about it. Let’s say things like “want a hug?” and “hey kiddo, high-five?” and “yes please” and “no thank you.” Let’s even be brave enough to say things like “I’m sorry, I greeted you with a hug but I think you didn’t want that.” We can do it together, family, and do it with grace and love.Every Blessing
Talitha