I’m home! Thank you for all the well-wishes. Between getting married and today celebrating my birthday, it’s been quite the amazing few weeks of celebration. It feels great to be married! Now Michael and I are settling into our temporary digs in North Oakland, and eagerly anticipating having a house of our own when the manse is ready later this fall. The wedding was a ton of fun, and we can’t wait to do it all over again on October 1st (remember, you’re invited… mahotaho.com)
I got new business cards already – Rev. Talitha Aho – because I did decide to change my name. Here’s what I wrote on Facebook about it:
Michael and I are getting ready to emerge from the tranquil cocoon of vacation by the lake, and to enter Real Life as a married couple. One of my first and probably rather tedious tasks will be letting everyone (bank, DMV, insurance, IRS, etc) know about my name change. But before I start on all the paperwork, here are my thoughts about it.
I didn’t take a name-change for granted. In case you don’t know me (at ALL??) I’m a big feminist. And I’m far enough into my professional career to have some writings, blogs, and even paper publishings built up in my name. A name change is difficult, and not just in the fees, forms, and paperwork you have to do. Unless you communicate really well about it, your previously written material might disappear from searches, and your social media identities might get confused. It’s a costly thing to do.
But I also know people who have changed their names for other reasons — transgender friends who may have changed all three names, or those who have taken new names to signify major spiritual changes in their life. People such as these give me the inspiration to see things with a little more flexibility. So I began to see it as an option. The Aho name and the Finnish heritage from which it comes is really meaningful to Michael, and he sees my name change as a huge, very valuable gift. I know he is taking on new things of similar magnitude as well (for example, two weeks ago he became a Presbyterian and joined our congregation). Anyway, the important part is that he is on the same page as me, and knows what a big thing it is to take on a new name!
That leaves my middle name. I toyed with which family name I would keep vs. give up (Given vs. Phillips) but I couldn’t choose one over the other, and neither sounded particularly good with Aho. But I have had this name, Amadea, rolling around in my soul for a while ever since a sermon on Revelation hit me with the words “God’s beloved,” which I somehow received as my new spiritual name. I promise I’m not a loopy religious freak, this really happened, call it intuition or poetry or something, but it’s become important to me. Amadea is the best available translation I could find for “God’s Beloved.”
So, three names? One (Talitha) from my parents who named me, one (Aho) from Michael and the rest of the crazy bunch of Finns I’m joining in with, and one (Amadea) straight from God.
ahem, one final word: I’m happy to be Ms. or Rev. but I prefer not Mrs., and here’s hoping to get the name pronounced right:
tah-LEE-thah
ah-ma-DAY-ah
AH-ho (rhymes with Lake Tahoe)
Blessings,
Talitha