Last Friday I went to a friend’s wedding. Instead of the bride taking the groom’s name (too patriarchal) or hyphenating both their names (too long and ridiculous) they took their favorite letters from each name and put them together. Haxton + Medema = Haxtema. In doing so they each said goodbye to their own last name and, in a way, their family lineage… but greeted their new life with a new identity. Some MPC folks have chosen this route as well. It does of course risk sending future genealogists into a whirl… but there are cultures who do not use family names and manage to keep track of their family lineage anyway.
In Uganda, last names are not kept from generation to generation, but people know which “clan” a name belongs to. A boy named me “Namubiru” there and when I told this to a man named “Mubiru” he immediately said “Oh! You are my sister now!” This happened to be very helpful in warding off marriage proposals from all of my new clan members (= new brothers) but that’s another story. What’s interesting is how quickly I was integrated into my clan. They adopted me wholeheartedly, advising me of the culinary restrictions and behaviors that come with my clan identity. When shopkeepers tried to charge me “white prices,” I smiled and said “I’m not one of those rich white people. My name is Namubiru,” and after a flurry of laughter and jokes I usually paid the regular amount.
Renaming is a Biblical theme, emphasizing our identity as sons and daughters of God. It is taken very seriously in the Catholic church, where you receive a “christian” name at your baptism. But even if we don’t take it literally, we all know the hurt inflicted by names (from “baby” to “nerd” to “loser” and worse) and the love expressed by names as well (“honey” and “darling,” right on up the goopy scale to “sugarpie” and worse).
The prophet Isaiah says to Israel:
The nations will see your vindication,
and all kings your glory;
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.
You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD’s hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called Hephzibah, [“my delight is in her”]
and your land Beulah [“married”]
for the LORD will take delight in you,
and your land will be married.
What is your name? It can be a secret one. What does your best self call you? What do your loved ones call you? What does God call you?
photo by Jeff Keen