In Uganda nearly six years ago, I took a little boy to the hospital. He was a resident of the orphanage where I volunteered, and he had to go to the hospital fairly regularly for checkups; he’d lived with HIV since birth. He loved going to the hospital because he got to ride in a truck, and miss school, and eat special treats like a biscuit or banana… or even candy, if his chaperon was feeling generous. A few days later we were watching a sports event at his school, and he entertained himself by rattling off all the nicknames he could call me. L’s and R’s interchange in Luganda to give him many options: “Talitha, or Terither, or Tally, or Terry, or T, or mummy… can I call you mummy?”
Yes, he could call me mummy. Later I signed up to be his sponsor as well, through the organization, and we stay in touch to this day. Here he is learning to use a camera:
His request changed the shape of what I call “my family.” I used to picture it as a circle, with parents in the center, all five siblings in a circle around them, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles on an outer rim… But now I have a funny series of shapes – a big, tight circle in New York, a biggish, looser oval in the Bay Area, and a little splotch in Uganda.
At Montclair we call one another family. We open the borders of our family circles to one another, transforming them from neatly drawn circles into big messy paint splatters. We adopt one another.
This is an important element of Christian tradition – the early church, in the face of persecution, and often rejected by their families, would re-define one another as kindred for the sake of love and mutual protection. The story tells that Jesus, in the midst of a crowd, received a messenger telling him, “Your mother and brothers are here, wanting to speak to you.” But Jesus looks at the crowd and proclaims loudly, “who is my mother, and who are my brothers? Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:47-49).
Some have been forced to redefine their family circles because they have been orphaned, or kicked out of the home by disapproving parents. Anyone who has lost their family can tell you the importance of the Christian theme of “adoption.” But even those of us who don’t NEED a new family still strive to expand our family circles for the sake of loving others. And God continually calls us – is there room in your home for one more? Is there room in your heart?
May we have the grace to open our hearts, circles, and homes to one another – to truly become family.